You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. The day I found out I was a single mom pregnant with twins, my life changed forever.
I hadn’t been feeling good for a few weeks and decided to go to the doctor to get checked out. If I’m being honest, I knew something was up, actually, I knew I was pregnant. I’d taken the home pregnancy test a few weeks prior but I was in complete denial.
I went to the appointment and surely I was pregnant. I was completely pissed because I had just ended my relationship and my son was only 6 months old. Then the unimaginable happened. I went in for my first sonogram and the technician told me it was twins! Tears immediately streamed down my face. I asked her if she was serious. I knew she was because I saw it for myself but I just had to ask. I was devastated!
Becoming a Single Mom of Twins
I had just become a single mom of twins so fast my head was spinning. I went from having two kids to having four in three seconds. How is this even happening? So many questions ran through my mind. The first thing I thought was “Who’s going to want a single mom of four?” Honestly that felt like the hardest part to accept in the moment.
But more importantly I thought how am I going to take care of these babies by myself? How am I going to tell my children I’m pregnant with twins? Will I be able afford daycare? HOOOWW am I even a single mom pregnant with twins!! At this point I was completely overwhelmed. I live in a condo though. I drive a two door coupe. The questions, the confusion it all had me exhausted. I was so disappointed in myself and disappointed in the choices I had made to get to this point.
When I finally made it home I sat there on the couch crying. I cried for hours. I went to bed still in disbelief. But then something happened that morning. I woke up, looked at myself in the mirror and said, “You can make it!”, “If God brings you to it, he’ll bring you through it.” From that moment on, I never looked back.
So you’re a single mom pregnant with twins, here’s what you need to know.
Everything is going to be okay. You can do this and you can do it WELL. Don’t let anybody persecute you for your choices. Know that you made the right decision and never second guess yourself. You have to be confident in your ability to choose. Forgive yourself and move forward. Own your decisions, stand tall and handle your business.
You will be able to give your children the life they deserve. You will be able to complete your goals and you will still be the amazing woman you are destined to be. I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy. You will have some sleepless nights. You will have to make some sacrifices and you will have to work your butt off to make it work. But that’s okay. It will all be worth it.
Reach out to the people that support you and will be there for you. If you don’t have a support system that’s okay. That will come. You can build that support system along the journey.
READ: The Day I gave Birth to My Twins via C-section Alone
If you already have one, be prepared for that to change. You will be surprised at the people that get missing when life gets real. You will also be surprised at those that step up to support you when you most need it. Additionally, YOU be prepared to change. This experience will change who you are as a woman. That’s exactly what it should do.
Accepting That Your a Single Parent of Twins
All in all, this can be done. Single moms with twins can thrive beyond their circumstances too. You don’t have to be afraid. You don’t have to second-guess your ability to make this work because you can do it. Keep the faith and stand strong. Being single is simply your current relationship status. That will change. All of your circumstances will change if you want them to. You get to decide whether you use this situation to hinder you or let it make you stronger. I pray you choose the latter. Being the single parent of twins shouldn’t stop you in anyway. Use it as a reason to be better and go harder.
This made me cry and smile at the same time. A single mother to twins myself I struggled to find someone that understood or knew exactly what I was going through. Thank you for this post, it has encouraged me. I hope I can be as successful as you one day.
Awww thank you Rachel. It can be hard but it CAN be done. Sending you good vibes and wishing you much success on you journey.
Just found out I’m pregnant with twins and it looks like I’ll be a single mom as well. I’m devastated but I know God has a plan for me and I’m trusting him completely.
Know that you got this!!!! Life doesn’t always go as planned but we find a way to write a better story than we imagined. Your babies are going to be a blessing.
I am a single mother with two beautiful boys. I’m in the stage that soon one of my boys will come home first than the other. I don’t know if this will be easy but it makes me upset leaving my other baby behind. I used to look at my life as if it was ending when I found out I was having twins and taking care of them on my own, but God has a purpose. He does everything for a reason. He has hold my hand through the risk of my pregnancy and he will continue holding my hand every step of the way. Times will be hard but I will be strong and prepared for whatever gets thrown at me.
Amen! God will never leave you nor forsake you. You will look back in a few years and laugh at how far you’ve come.
My significant other even though in my life may or may not be physically there for me and our twins. He’s in jail with no end in sight… I was beginning to feel an utter hopeless then I read this, I know God has a plan for me. I have family members that suggested adoption but I truly don’t think that’s the best option. I’m scared, alone and worried that I’m keeping them from having a better life. They’re due at the end of the year, he’s already missed 3 months of pregnancy, when I found out about the twins, I just found out the gender. It’s been extremely draining and stressful but I have faith, thank you. Whether I have to do this on my own or not, I feel like I can.
And you can! There are so many resources available if you need them. Ask for help and use your support system. This is not an impossible task. If I can do it, so can you. Many blessings to you mama.
Hey i just found out im having twins last week i also have a four yr old girl me and her dad broke up and it just wont work even if we try our hardest plus he lives in holland and im back in ireland. Thank u so much for that beautiful read cheered me right up .
Awwww thank you I’m so glad you liked it. Just know everything will work out just fine. Best wishes to you, your daughter and your new bundle of joy.
I would like to say thank you. For sharing your story);. I’ve been struggling for months and been going through a lot! Especially with the father of my twins. I’m 17 and I’ll be 18 on Mother’s Day and they’ll be here in June. So, this really brought relief to my soul and more strength that I need. ??? Thank you again for sharing your story!?
You will get through this!!! Don’t ever doubt your strength. You and your babies first. Everything else next. Many blessings to you mama.
Hi Jocelyn Nicole,
How are things going for you and the twins?
I’m so glad I found this blog. I am considering becoming a single mother, and while I know it is FAR from an easy path, it may be the only option available to me if I’d like to have my own biological child. I have many fears about it, and I realized a significant one is judgment from my family and other people. I really appreciate this empowering blog. Thank you so much.
It’s not easy, but absolutely worth it! Many blessings to you mama.
I’m a single mother of twins ,
It’s been 2 and a half years and things are still difficult I feel terrible and have no one to talk to, no one to help me I’m devastated just miserable every day I don’t have friends or family to help
I hope that someone sees my message and prays for me and my innocent children
Many blessings to you and your babies. It gets easier. Keep your head up.
Hey nessa . Im going through the same except i do have family so i can only imagine what u are going through i will pray foe u
Hi Ness,
I hope you get this message. Please do keep your head up though it’s been so tough for you lately. I would love to hear your story. Breathe. Take a moment to be grateful. Paint a new picture! Start afresh today! Better is coming!
This is exactly what I needed and thank you so much. I am a first time mom of twins and God blesses me with a boy and a girl. I’m standing firm in my decision and will make sure I enjoy this journey. Thank you and God bless
Congratulationssss!!! You are going to be just fine. Enjoy your pregnancy mama. God got you!
Thank you for your blog and insight. I’m a single mom by choice of twins and find every day a bit of a challenge yet the most rewarding experience of my life. Will continue to follow you updates.
It really is. But it’s definitely a challenging worth taking on.
Your story brought me happy tears 🙂 I also just found out I was pregnant with twins, and me and my kids father are not together. This is my first pregnancy and I’m scared out of my mind, but also just as excited. Thanks for the encouragement I appreciate it so much!
I know the feeling all too well. Dont be afraid. Use this pregnancy to come up with a plan of how you will move forward. Rest your body and plan for your future. You can do this!
Woah . Sounds exactly like my story
Thank you for this article, it’s just what I needed. I’m currently pregnant with twins and I already have three children. Their dad and I are no longer together and will be divorced soon. I am excited and joyful at the thought of this blessing, but I’m also afraid because I’ll be doing it alone and life is hard. Your article gave me a sense of hope and confidence, and I have a feeling that I’ll be fine, though it will be rough.
It will be. It will be fine. You can totally do this and everything is going to be okay. At the beginning it is a total shock! Trust me I know. But once you find your groove, you will be fine. Praying for two happy healthy babies for you. Many blessings mama.
Divorced single mom of 4 here! 🙋🏾♀️ My oldest graduates high school next year and youngest turned 8. Started dating again this year. Meet someone and was eager to be selfish and enjoy sex for once. He totally disappeared afterwards, which really didn’t bother me. Who’d want to be with a douchebag like that??? Found out I was pregnant, which was devastating. Soon after, I learned they were twins. I’m now 14 weeks. I’ll have to put nursing school on hold, and I physically struggle to have the endurance to make it through each day. The pandemic has also assisted in dissolving my resources along with taking my job. I’m considering going into a shelter for a while to get the assistance I need. This has totally rearranged my life. And I’m angry! I’m mostly upset with myself. Then I’m angry that I’m going through this alone. The guy has resurfaced in the last week but is untrustworthy (for obvious reasons). I’m angry that I feel unloved, uncared for, unprotected! I struggle with sadness. As expressed in the article, what does having six children say for my love-life in the future?? I feel I’ll never be accepted by a partner in my future and I’m dealing with the loneliness of this all. Oh! Don’t forget all the anger. Smh.
There are so many things to consider, I know. But right now you have to focus on you and your mental health. You babies need you to be good so that they can be. Get somewhere you can have some peace and truly come up with a plan on how you are going to move forward. Praying for peace and understanding for you during this time.
I know I feel super selfish but that’s where my mind went and goes too. Who will want me now? And why did I let myself fall into my exes manipulative narcissistic trap again. I had finally got away with our two kid’s and I am still in the shock wave afterwards of finding out I am carrying identical girl twins! But after three boys I cannot help but being super excited!! But we are all at my mom’s house safe during the pandemic. Reach out to family. Find resources for food etc. Stay safe. I am trying to find my voice and finish my novel before my twins come in March.
Ashly yes finish your book. What a wonderful focus during this time.
This was very inspirational. Thank you for your story. I just found out I am pregnant with twins while I just birthed my 6 month old and have a 7 year old. To be honest my story is a complete mess and I probably deserve all this but to give a brief overview my husband and I have been on and off separated for two years. My 6 month year old was conceived with a man I exposed my vulnerability too during my separation. When I told him I was pregnant he said he didn’t want any parts and wasn’t going to help me. I moved forward and now have an amazing baby boy. Now most women would of ran once he decided to abandon me but noooo not my stupid self and now I’m pregnant again by ding ding this guy again. I’m beyond devastated. Now when I first discovered I was pregnant I decided I couldn’t go through that pain and drama with him again and scheduled to terminate the pregnancy. It was during the ultrasound it was shared I was having twins. I just bust out in tears. I was trying to handle this as a business situation numbing myself to the process but looking at those two black dots made it all real. How God? Why God? Is this punishment for breaking my bond with my husband? Is this my karma?I do not know what to do at this point. Do I move forward and become a mom of 4 overnight destroy my husband explore this journey on my own or move forward with the termination and destroy my own mental? I feel either way my emotional and mental mind frame will be challenged. God Please Help. Sorry ladies for such a long story, I’m just so alone and need some kind of answers
Oh no! I know how you must be feeling right now. I’ve been there. Just know that it gets better. It hurts so bad right now but it will not hurt forever. Praying peace and clarity for you in this time. Many blessings mama.
I am in the same boat my husband and I have been separated for a little over 2 years i just found out im pregnant with twins the twins father and i separated 6 months ago and these are his first kids….my husband and I are just now talking legal divorce im a mom of 3 already and i was prepared for 1 more but twins? I dont know how ill do it. I cant expect much from this guy because he’s so unstable. I’ve only been at my new job since April and I have no benefits im terrified of the financial aspect of taking time off im worried i won’t be able to work to term because of the physical labor i have to do.
I feel your pain mama.
It all works out. Stay positive and do your best.
I am 15 weeks pregnant with twins. I have a three year old son who lights up my entire world. I am pregnant by my sons father, but our relationship is toxic and often brings me down. I am angry with myself for thinking things would be different this time when I should have known they would be the same. I made an appointment to have an abortion but left when I was told it was twins. I cried and my heart sunk. I wasn’t prepared for one baby let alone two. I also couldn’t go through with the abortion because I know it would have caused me so much mental anguish. My “baby daddy” is decent but he never keeps a job so I am worried about how we will afford anything when we barely survive as it is. On top of that he is emotionally abusive and times and very jealous. I know it’s all my own fault. I so badly want to have a “normal” pregnancy and be happy for my babies but I can’t when the father doesn’t have the same outlook. I have felt so alone. I’m glad to know I’m not the only women in the world going through this.
You are not the only woman going through and you will be one of those who make it through fine. Keep your head up.
Wow.. what a great, inspiring and relatable read! For some naive reason I thought I was the only woman on planet earth that was pregnant with twins, single and already taking care of a child. Not going to lie, this story and these comments are bringing some light to my situation. I am a single mother by choice- and I love it. I have loved it from the beginning, and I have done an outstanding job raising my 5 year old daughter- not to toot my own horn :-). Surprise, I get pregnant with my ex husband, aka baby daddy aka sperm donor :-/. Very unstable, irresponsible angry veteran whom I want no part of- it was all for the sex, unfortunately. I have been going back and forth about terminating this pregnancy even though I have been against abortions my whole life. I read a comment above about one women actually seeing the ultrasound and changing her mind deciding not to abort- that happened to me this past saturday. I grew up in a very well structured, well fed, church going GREEK household. If anyone knows anything about greek people, we eat big meals together, drink wine, go to church, drink more wine and love the family around us. Usually you don’t see too many single greek mothers out there, you can say that I stand out in my community. I don’t get child support from sperm donor, so I know i definitely won’t with these twins. I have many concerns, but a few I will list: I am so used to it being me and my daughter… it upsets me knowing I wont be able to give her the full attention anymore. I’ll be financially struggling my whole life- i will be teaching within the next year and half, but we all know teachers don’t make a lot of money. Last…. single mom, 3 kids…. the past few years I have pictured a wedding on the rocky coast of New England, sea glass bridesmaids dresses and a designed wedding dress in my head… guess i better put that off for another 10 years? I’ll be 30 next year and have wasted 6 years on this awful human being aka sperm man. I was finally ready to move on then got this news, I guess I will continue to buy lotto tickets! Rant over! Thanks for listening and thanks for the great post.
I hear you and understand FULLY. You and your babies will be fine and you can still have that beautiful dream wedding of yours. Don’t let go of that dream. You can have it! STILL.
I had an affair with a married men..he asked me of im taking the pill I lied and said yes, but I bought condoms I was really clumsy and stupid for that. Nonetheless I recently discovered im having twins and he does not want them..he wants an abortion cos I broke the trust and lied…the abortion is 16.2.21 I’m really scared and don’t know what to do. Iam 30 and living alone in Germany. My family lives in Africa ..m mum knows and supports me with any decision I take..I pray God forgive me for my sins.
Everything will work out in the end. Praying for your peace.
This was what I needed to hear! As a 41 year old woman being pregnant with twins naturally was such a shock. I have two kids already and raised one as a single mom. Even though I had been through raising a child alone it’s totally different expecting two at once. I never thought I would be here again at this age. However, once I made peace with the situation and realized these blessings were put here for a reason, I know it will be ok. My boys have had an amazing life and these two will as well because I will ensure it. The father broke up with me just because I was pregnant. Totally his loss as he is losing out on a great woman and two blessings! I have faith that God will make sure everything is ok and that I will find someone to love me the way I deserve one day. I’m so grateful for my support system in the meantime. I’m just concentrating on taking care of myself, and my two other kids right now. I’m educated, have a career, and a home, and I know this will only make me even stronger! Thank you for sharing your story as I thought I was alone in a situation like this.
And he will. Everything will work out just fine.
Hi Nakesha,
Your story is giving me abit of hope though Iam still feeling depressed. I found out yesterday that I will having twins and the father doesnt want anything to do with me or the babies. He has said some hurtful things to me to day of all days and it just dragged me deep into depression. I already have a daughter from a previous relationship and same thing happened the father is M.I.A and now this one again. I don’t know if I can do this on my own again. I’m currently unemployed and struggling as it is. I have no support system my mom passed away in 2020, I honestly dont know what I will do raising 3 kids on my own without financial support. Being from south africa it is not easy finding employment. The negative thoughts I have in my mind are spiraling out of control.
You can make it! Blessings to you mama.
Thank you for this