So Father’s Day is coming up but sadly that doesn’t mean much around here. I’m a single mother and my toddlers do not have a father in their life.
On Father’s Day each year I usually have people thoughtfully wish me a happy Father’s Day. Then there are the cards from preschool and all of the social media shoutouts. I understand that these are just thoughtful acknowledgments, I do. Acknowledgment of my dedication, my ability to persevere, my enduring the late nights, bearing the financial strain, and managing a household of five, solo!
Honestly, I appreciate all of the kind words and thoughtful gestures. However, it just doesn’t feel right. It makes me sad and I feel terrible for my children. Because right now they do not have the privilege of a father’s love. My heart breaks for them at every heartfelt commercial and every sentimental Facebook post. So when the holiday greetings begin to pour in, they take the adverse effect of their intention.
No matter how much of a commitment I have to my children it still does not take the place of a father in their life.
Me even being acknowledged in that sense says that I can in some way fulfill that need for them. That cannot be further from the truth. Despite my current circumstance, I strongly believe that there is a necessity for a male presence in every child’s life. I believe that men play a special role in children’s life and there is nothing I can do as a woman to fill that spot.
I can only be the best MOTHER I can be.
Because being a great mother is what I know how to do. That is the role God gave me. He gave me everything I needed to be amazing at THAT.
I know he will eventually bring the right man into my life that is equipped and ready to step into that role for my children but until then I will establish strong male role models for my kids and stay diligent on my motherhood journey.
So if you want to wish me well, great! I welcome it. A quick, “You’re doing a great job mama.”, “Keep taking good care of those babies.”, “God is going to send the right man to be a father for them.” or simply “God bless you” will suffice. But “Happy Father’s Day” is not the right sentiment for this mama, it’s just not right and it hurts too much.
AnnMarie John says
I’m right there with you. I cringe when I hear women say “I’m mommy and daddy”. No you’re not daddy, you’re mommy doing the best that you can without daddy in the picture. You’re an amazing mother and yes God will definitely send the right man to be there for not just you, but them too. BTW your little one did not look too happy to be taking a pic. 🙂
Neota Howard says
You sound like an amazing woman, mother and friend. I’m so sorry, because I too acknowledge and praise single moms, I am one myself. I admired you for standing in your truth, God bless you and your children.
Nakisha Wynn says
We have to do what we have to do. It can be done.