How do you make sure my life is always changing for the better? What does it really take to pursue the life you want? Theses are the questions I ask myself regularly. As a mother, it’s important for me to make sure my kids and I are always genuinely happy, constantly growing and consciously creating an atmosphere suitable to live our best life. I wasn’t always that confident though.
5 years ago I was going through so much and I had nobody to talk to. I had nobody around me that I felt like understood where I was coming from. I was a single mom pregnant with twins and I had 2 other kids. Honestly, it was too much. I needed an outlet and a place to share the things I was feeling and going through. So I decided I would start a blog. I figured I could share my journey and eventually create a community of women who would understand and we could support each other through the hard times.
At the time I was working a temporary job and my supervisor and I had become quite close. One day we were talking about entrepreneurship and I shared with her that I loved the idea of blogging and I wanted to start one but I didn’t know where to start. She actually loved my idea and concept for the blog but wasn’t too enthused about my method of execution. She wasn’t sure a blog was the way. However, she said if I wanted to do it I should. Awesome. But it’s what happened next that knocked the wind out of me.
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She asked me what I would call it and so I told her the name I was considering and she hated it. I don’t remember the exact name I wanted but it was a play on my last name Wynn. She didn’t like the idea of winning versus losing in life. While now I understand where she was coming from, at the time it was devastating to hear. I was in a tough place in my life so I was low-key devastated. I finally felt like I had an amazing idea that I loved and someone I respected so much didn’t see the vision. That one opinion would delay me starting my blog for 3 years.
Eventually things in my life were changing for the better. I started asking myself regularly: “What can you do to pursue the life you want?” I was strolling through Twitter one day and I read a tweet that changed everything. It said:
“Don’t listen to anyone, everyone is scared!” -Jay Z
I felt like he wrote that directly to me. LOL. He was telling me: “pursue the life you want!” It was so true. A lot of people have goals and dreams they want to accomplish but will never pursue them because they are scared. So when you come to them with an idea that they don’t understand or seems impossible for them, they will try to talk you out of it or throw subtle shade. I thought to myself “If I fail, so what, at least I can say I tried it.” I couldn’t hold my vision in any longer. I was ready to start my blog. But when I finally did start I gave it very minimal effort and only posted a few times in the first year. In the back of my head I was still thinking about she had said and worried about what my friends and family would think.
When I think about all that now I wonder what in the heck I was thinking? How dare I allow other people dictate my life. I know what I want and I’m gonna go for it. No matter what. I’m going to life my life happy, taking risks and always changing for the better.
7 Steps to Pursue the Life You Want
1. Decide what you want
What is it that you really want out of life? Do you want to take the leap into entrepreneurship? Do you want to move to a different part of the country? Maybe you want to learn another language. The first thing you have to do is figure out what you want. Sometimes we have been told what to do and what to be for so long that the ideas that we can be something different gets lost upon us. You can do something different. Identify what you really want.
2. Ask Yourself Why
I believe there should be purpose behind everything we do. Why do you want to accomplish this goal? I wanted to start my blog to connect with other single moms in similar situations and create a community. That was my “why”. When you have a strong reason for why you want to do something typically you pursue it harder. When it gets hard and it seems like things are not going your way, your why will help you keep going.
3. Believe that its possible
This is essential! You must have faith in you vision. You must believe that you can make it happen. In the beginning you don’t have to know how you are going to make it happen, you just have to know you will.
4. Create a plan
Prepare a plan of action. What will you do first? Get a piece of paper and write down how you see your vision coming to life. Be as detailed as possible. After researching, take yourself step by step through each phase of the vision. This plan can eventually be update and tweaked but get something down on paper.
5. Implement the plan
Pursue your plan with reckless abandon. Execute each step of your plan. When it gets hard, keep going and don’t stop until you reach success.
6. Create a Support System
Once you get going, find a strong support system. This will include someone that can support you along the way and keep you accountable your goals. Also find someone who has done what you are trying to do and see if they would be willing to give you some advice. Doing this will allow you to pursue the life you want with assistance and bit more clarity. Also, people love to see you implementing when you start asking questions and telling them about your dreams. Do more, talk less.
7. Ask for help when you need it
Don’t go it alone. When things get rough, don’t be afraid to ask for help.