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Life Got Better When I Learned to Say No

April 6, 2017 · In: Motherhood

This post may contain affiliate links, which means I could make a commission (at no additional cost to you) on your purchases through my links. Read my full disclosure here.

I know, I’m supposed to be positive and always come from a place of yes. And most times I do. But some life circumstances warrant a no.

Honestly, life actually got better when I learned to say no!

I learned to say no to other people’s judgments of me. I even learned to say no to their limitations for my life. Because often times when people find out that I’m a single mother, they place their preconceived notions about single parenting on me.

Assuming I must be broke, stressed and tired. And when I don’t live up to their ridiculous assumptions, they then begin to treat me a different type of way.

But I decided to say no to all of those things. You will not place me in a box. You will not place your limitations on my life.

On the other hand, there are internal conflicts I had to deny as well.

“Guilt” being the biggest culprit.

While being the best mother I can, often times I have to make sacrifices in one way or the other. Sometimes with those sacrifices, guilt begins to come in. Because while I’m being amazing in one area, another might be suffering. Then I begin to feel guilty about the failing area. But guess what? I decided against that feeling too.

I decided to say no to all of those things. And the moment I did, my life changed.

Everything changed.

I was able to protect my peace better.

Because I was no longer worried about what people had to say about me, what people thought I should be doing, or the people that suspected that I should be doing something for them.

After eliminating all that stress I got my peace back.
I was no longer concerned with people viewing me from a certain perspective.

I was done trying to make other people happy!

And when I decided to say no, I took my peace back.

I began to have a peace that I could not explain.

It was like I had no “cares” to give. But really I was just done taking on other people’s problems; like what they thought of me.

And really all of that foolishness MEANT NOTHING.

It was hindering me and my progression.

Then in order for me to progress, I had to own my truth.

Now when I became a single parent for the second time I was so ashamed.

I didn’t want people judging my mistakes.

And so I began to make decisions based on that. I didn’t want people to think this, so I did that.

I started making decisions based on the shame. But once I decided to say no to that, I was able to rest in my truth.

Because now I understand that I didn’t have to endure the shame for this was only a page in my story. And this chapter of my life is necessary to get to the next.

It’s no longer about pleasing people. Or giving people this perception of who I am. I live my truth. And people can take it or leave it. I’m okay with either.

And I can say that with confidence in who I am, outside of my circumstances. Because of that I live in peace and own my truth.

The good thing is that getting over all that allows me to live a life that I actually love.
You know why?

Because I have the things that I want to have. I’m doing the things I want to do. I’m peaceful. I have joy every day. My kids are happy. I’m happy because I’m appreciative and I’m grateful for where I am right now.

And I know now that IT’S ALL ABOUT THE JOURNEY.

It’s about looking back and saying “Man it used to be rough, but now things are better.” Having experiences that can help someone else in their bad times.

And things are getting better. I am in a place where I’m grateful. I’m grateful and I’m appreciative for where I am because things used to be worse. There was a time that I was praying for the things that I have right now.

All of this has taught me to rest in a place of gratitude.

Doing so has allowed me to be very clear and confident on my position in life. I am no longer moved by every opinion and facetious comment. I no longer allow people to place limitations on my life, put me in a box or place their barely mediocre standards on me.

This is how I came to love myself all over again. Because I realize, I deserve this and I’m worth it. I deserve to say no when I want to.

So I got to a place where I realized it’s about loving myself more.

Loving myself wholly. Loving my well-being. Loving my audacity to say no.

That’s when I began to grow. Loving myself more allows me to love my children so much more. I give so much more love to the people around me. Because I’m no longer stressed by the noise. I’m completely happy with where I am in life.

By: Nakisha Wynn · In: Motherhood

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Comments

  1. AnnMarie John says

    April 13, 2017 at 12:49 am

    I learned to say no the hard way after getting burned one too many times, from family. It was the best thing I ever did for myself.

    Reply

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First off, forget them people! Respectfully… Bu First off, forget them people! Respectfully…

But, I get it!  Most times we lack confidence worrying about other people’s opinion on this or that, but… 

- Stop trying to prove people wrong and prove yourself right! This is about you. You overcoming your fears. You finding the audacity to be great. You pursuing YOUR best life.

- Surround yourself with people that pour into you. Having the right support system is essential. It helps you ignore the noise around you. Join an online group, meetup with positive people local to you.

- Figure out the area you lack confidence in and build yourself up in that area.

- Feel the fear and do it anyway! You gotta just push through. Keep working. Keep showing up. Keep building.

Save this post and reference it when you feel self doubt creeping in.

#internationalwomensmonth #confidence #confident #becomingher #thatgirl #happyinternationalwomensday
It’s Monday and I’m prepared to have a product It’s Monday and I’m prepared to have a productive week! 

Here are a few things I do to make sure the business and the babies are setup for success:

- Write down everything I need to get done this week on Sunday. I literally do a brain dump of all the things.

- Then I prioritize these things from most important to least! …because let’s be real I wanna do everything but there’s only so much time in the day 😂 

- Then I schedule the first 3 things in my planner for Monday. I like to see it here and put in Google calendar.

- I plan, shop, and prep all my meals for the week on Sunday too. Because who got time for “What y’all wanna eat?” everyday lol 

- Lastly I’m trying to make room for IG this week because that hasn’t been a priority. But @planoly is coming in clutch for me.

So I’m implementing the strategy: if you fail to plan, you plan to fail! And I’m planning to get it done this week!!!

Share this with an entrepreneur that could use it! 

#planwithme #plannerbabe #mondayplanning #productivitytips
Me feeling myself the one day a week I actually ge Me feeling myself the one day a week I actually get dressed 😂

I work at home all week so on Fridays I like to get out. I went to brunch, got some content, then did a lil shopping. It was the perfect day!

But wait, I know you see these @walmart jeans GIVING! 🥰

Sharing these and some other pieces in my new YouTube video going live at 6pm!

Happy Friday y’all!! 

.
.
#blackmomskillingit #blackmomblogger #blackmomsblog #blackgirlswhoblog #literalmomgoals #blackgirljoy #theeverymom #realmomstyle #mommystyle #styleinfluencer #bloggerstyle #essencestyle #melaninmajority #walmartspring #walmartfashion
When I left corporate, it was for my kids! I was When I left corporate, it was for my kids!

I was tired of paying 2 mortgages in daycare cost, working all day and only seeing them for a few hours in the evening. Then, the hassle I’d get when I needed to take off for them!

#Workingmoms don’t get enough credit!!!! It’s a JOB in itself juggling it all…..let’s not get into the last 2 years. 🙄

My plan was to make it through their daycare days, but I done got out here an built an empire!

Don’t tell me God ain’t good!!

So, yeah. I’m gonna be right here, taking care of my babies.

Working moms, stay at home moms, work at home moms, bonus moms, expectant moms…….all y’all, I see you!

#workathomemoms #stayathomemom #instamom  #themillionairemomsclub #motivatedwomen #blackmomceo
#mompreneurship #mompreneurlife #mompreneurs #mombosslife #mombosses #motherhustler #workingmomkind #theeverymom
Don’t ever confuse what you’re offered, for wh Don’t ever confuse what you’re offered, for what you’re worth!

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#blackmomskillingit #blackmomblogger #mommystyle #browngirlbloggers #blackmomsblog #literalmomgoals #themillionairemomsclub #blackmomceo
#mompreneurship #mompreneurlife #mompreneurs #mombosslife #mombosses #9tothrive #goalgettermindset #shemeansbusiness

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